What is life, anymore?
I thought I was getting better for a change. Because this is the last year at school, I thought I would be able to go through it. That I could be strong again, after all this time.
I guess I was wrong.
It's like, while you feel better, it still aches inside. And you start to close yourself all of a sudden again, because you hate yourself for letting everyone know how you felt. For being so weak.
And when you notice, you are at the bottom again.
Yeah, maybe one of our only reasons to be alive are friends and family. But when you lose your friends, what are you supposed to do? Be happy that you got to meet such wonderful persons?
That is pure bullshit.
I guess I am, indeed, stupid like everyone tells me I am. After all, I am stupid enough to not be able to move on without remembering her smile, her laugh, her tears, her little quirks...everything she did. And everyone moves on, and tells me that I am a moron to keep thinking about her.
I just can't.
Even if it has been over an year, I still miss her like I missed her one year ago. Is it so bad of me to wish she was right here with me?
I am sorry I can't be the one you all want me to be. I am not smart, I am not pretty, I am not nice, I am nothing good at all. I am just myself. And that should be enough.
But enough isn't enough, nowadays...
"There's always something worth living for!"
Such fake, empty words.
I guess that it is my sin, after all, to be the princess of omission. No matter how much people would ask, I would always say I was fine...always, always.
What the hell is fine, anyway...? My heart only knows despair ever since I can remember.
...I just can't do this anymore. Is there any way for me to quit life and make it look like an accident...?
I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry.
This is another cruel joke life has played. And I, being as weak as I am, was not able to take it.
But it doesn't matter...it never did, to anyone.
If by any slight chance I end up hurting anyone that it is...
I am so, so sorry.
Goodbye.
Marcadores: Goodbye.
