Shinobu here. ~
It's amazing how I have a lot of things to do, and still, I'm bored. I guess that's what you get when you still can't kill the damn gay boss (edit: WE KILLED HIM! YAAAY...erm...*cough*).
I am starting to get down...I mean, come on! Vacations are almost over...
I'd rather read yaoi/incests than having to return to school (believe me, I haaaate both).
And, going by the fact that it is a new school, I seriously don't feel like the idea.
So, just like in all the other vacations, I'm going to spend the rest few days in a grey mood, darn.
It has been really funny, to be over here, playing all the kinds of games, writing fics, sleeping well, invading others houses...still, it will all be over soon.
Yeah, I know, soon the vacations will come again and I'll be able to do everything again...but it won't be the same thing.
And I've been wondering, on the past days...I love games, and all of that stuff, but, going by the fact that we all have a ticking clock inside us, counting the time that we have left in the world, should I really waste my precious time on them? I mean...now that I've been thinking, I don't even know why do I waste my time on trying to write, when I don't seem to get any better (or even drawing).
I've reached to one conclusion after all those thoughts...I believe that I play to be acknowledged, since it's the only thing that I can really do. And, the writing...maybe I want to leave memories of my thoughts?
When we die, everything vanishes with us...and, I want to stay alive in the books, like many people do.
Take as example Luís de Camões...he died a long time ago, and still, everybody knows him.
But, I don't seriously know...why do I even want that.
I guess even I, who couldn't care any less about the world choices, going that the fact that I'm not going to be here later...could want to change the world.
Everybody seems to be worse and worse, as time goes by...
Honestly, I don't even know what to think anymore. And, seriously, I don't even know why I think so much. That's the reason why I sometimes hate to have a brain.

What I find even sadder, is that our inner thoughts, are just for us...and even if you explain them well, nobody will ever understand them like you do.
Because, after all, whatever we do, we must live on ourselfs, not on others.
So, I'll just carry on, watching the world ruin itself, and playing/writing...who knows, maybe someday I'll have the guts to do something, or maybe I'll stop caring about everybody (= big dream).

See? That's why I hate to be the logical type.
I waste time thinking, and thinking (and writing big texts that nobody *coughorsenpaicough* bothers to read)...I guess it would be quicker and less troublesome, to throw some colours at a palette and to see a great art that would be later at a museum being formed.
I guess that my thoughts are what I get for being who I am. Sometimes, I love to be myself, others, I wished I didn't was the way Iam.

To end this with other mood...Mew is coming over on Sunday (at least something good to me to not sulk about). I sure hope that her mom doesn't hate me, 'cause if she does, I'll never see her again. *sad*
I'll just trust myself, as usual...at least most of the parents that I know like me (unless their sons were lying when they told me "my mom likes you a lot!"...), I guess.
So, I guess I'll post something here after it...or maybe even before.
It's all about boredom, darn.
And I admit it, I'm seriously bored today.
So, to end it...I'm going to sleep *yawns*.
Since yesterday I dreamt with Lê and Mello...let's just hope that today it's a good dream with a cutie from an anime again (Mello is not cute, he's...erm...*coughhotcough*).

Signing out while yawning again,
Shinobu. ~